Updated: Dec 4, 2022
Picture it, international convention Louisville, Kentucky 1989 – thousands of people and a
12 year old boy (me lol) sitting in the evening service with my 19 year old cousin Carl.
The chairs had a big gap between the back and the seat, so much so a baby could easily slip through. Anyway, an usher escorts a couple to the seats directly in front of us – she was wearing all white. The lady sits down and INSTANTLY a gargantuan white marshmellow appears in between the gap of the seat – like a Pop Tart.
I looked at Carl and pointed to her buttocks smothered in white practically squeezing my knees. Given my history of being out-spoken Carl quickly shook his head. I whispered, “I can’t sit like this all night – let’s get out of here.” Carl replied under his breath, “Just sit back and stop, Hezekiah Walker will be singing tonight – we’re staying.” OKAY THEN, leave me sitting in front of the butty all night so you can hear Hezekiah. Now, I’m looking at her behind thinking all kinds of crazy things and snickering – Carl too lol.
I carefully crossed my legs for comfort since I was stuck like Chuck. Anyway, after an hour I forgot Big Butt was there. Hezekiah was singing and the music was the bomb – I jumped up to clap and sing forgetting the woman dressed in all white. I accidentally kicked her anus so hard – she screamed, I screamed, we all screamed. There was a huge footprint left on her marshmellow. Carl grabbed me and we skedaddled! Poor woman, offering was next!
Laugh Friends – Laugh!
~ Dr. GreGory